The following article strangely failed to appear in the national press in the week following Graham's consecration which - as you may have spotted - occurred on the 500th anniversary of the coronation of Henry VIII.

Constitutional crisis blamed on  liturgical error

Staff at Lambeth Palace yesterday blamed a junior clerk for causing a constitutional crisis. In unprecedented scenes, bailiffs have called at Buckingham Palace demanding that the former Queen vacate the premises “with immediate effect”.

The upheaval arises from a ceremony held in Westminster Abbey last Thursday.  Graham Kings, the former vicar of Islington, was crowned King. A spokesman for the Archbishop of Canterbury said that the coronation was “an honest but unfortunate mistake”.

Dr Kings was due to be consecrated as Bishop of Sherborne. A problem arose when a clerical assistant reprinted an order of service which was marked “24th June ‘09”, but did not check that it was for the correct century. Asked why the Archbishop had failed to notice the mistake, the spokesman read a prepared statement from the Most Revd Rowan Williams: “Well, man, it’s all in old English innit? They don’t expect no-one to read that stuff. I just do what they give me. Anyway it’s his name, right?”

The new monarch told our correspondent: “The Archbishop is not wholly correct. I am not King, but Kings. To save confusion, I thought it best to specify the number of Kings involved. I intend to reign as Graham VIII. “

Meanwhile the new Bishop of Sherborne, Rt Revd Henry Tudor, is reported to be “seriously disappointed” by the turn of events.