Group facilitation guidelines for 2009 Conference

Guidelines for Group Discussions

"Making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:3)

In thought

• Accept conflict

  Acknowledge together that conflict is a normal part of our life in the church

• Affirm hope

  Affirm that as God walks with us in conflict we can work through to growth. (Ephesians 4:15-17)

• Commit to prayer

  Admit our needs and commit ourselves to pray for a mutually satisfactory solution (no prayers for my success or for the other to change but to find a joint way). (James 5:16)

In action

• Go to the other

  Go directly to those with whom we disagree; avoid behind-the-back criticism. (Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15-20)

• In the spirit of humility:

  Go in gentleness, patience, and humility. Place the problem between us at neither doorstep and own our part in the conflict instead of pointing out the other's. (Galatians 6:1-5)

• Be quick to listen:

  Listen carefully, summarize and check out what is heard before responding. Seek as much to understand as to be understood. (James 1:19, Proverbs 18:13)

• Be slow to judge:

  Suspend judgements, avoid labelling, end name calling, discard threats, and act in a nondefensive, non reactive way. (Romans 2:1-4, Galatians 5:22-26)

• Be willing to negotiate

  Work through the disagreements constructively. (Acts 15; Philippians 2:1-11)

In life

• Be steadfast in love

  Be firm in your commitment to seek a mutual solution; be stubborn in holding to our common foundation in Christ. (Colossians 3:12-15)

• Be open to mediation

  Be open to accept skilled help, we will use those with gifts and training in mediation in the larger church (Philippians 4:1-3)

• Trust the community

  We will trust the community and if we cannot reach agreement or experience reconciliation, we turn the decision over to others in the congregation and the broader church (Act 15)

• Be the body of Christ

  Believe in and rely on the solidarity of the body of Christ and its commitment to justice and peace (1 Corinthians 6:1-6)

From "Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love" - Mennonite Church. Information and resources for dealing with confict available from a href"http://www.menno.org.uk/bridgebuilders">Bridge Builders

Useful books

Never Call Them Jerks - Arthur Boers - The Alban Institute

Making Peace with conflict - practical skill for conflict transformation - Carolyn Schrock-Shenk and Lawrence Ressler - Herald Press

Bridge Builders - London Mennonite Centre, 14 Shepherds Hill, London N6 5AQ

Guest Author

These posts are by guest authors for Fulcrum